58 -MOTHER'S NEW DAUGHTER

skirt rode up; exposing a generous portion of covered thighs.

my nylon

I blushed and moved to adjust my skirt, but Jack put out his hand to stop me. "Your legs are too attractive to cover up. Besides, I saw more of them today in your bikini.'

He put his arm around me, and I sighed. Jack thought it was a sigh of affection, but it was one of frustration and resignation. I remembered my promise to Sidney, and I laid my head on Jack's shoulder.

All I had to put up with were a few passionate kisses and a few caresses--which I successfully repelled. I hated the hand holding. Inside, I was totally disgusted by my behavior, but I put my heart into my actions. I'm sure Jack was very happy.

At our hotel door, I was so glad to be home that I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him the way Sidney had been responding to his date. This was hardly the kind of behavior for someone who liked girls. For the most part, Jack had been a gentleman, although not too perfect. This was my way of saying thanks.

It was a good thing Mom wasn't up when we came home, or she would noticed some things wrong right away. For instance, my lipstick was almost all gone, and my skirt was wrinkled. I smelled of men's cologne and I'm sure Jack smelled of my perfume. If mom had seen that last kiss, she'd know I was crazy. I couldn't wait to get into bed and try to forget the kisses.

I WAS CHANGING...

I resisted the concept, but being kissed as a girl had changed me. Even Sidney seemed different. As he strapped on his high-heeled sandals, he suggested we go shopping for something "sexy".

We both dressed as before, but more was put into getting the right jewelry, and of course, slipping into a tantalizing sundress.

Somehow being 'kissed' had changed me. Before I took that fabled walk through the mall, I wanted my hair to be exquisite, and my makeup sublime. Sidney talked of a dress he'd seen that was "to die for."

I was beginning to understand. Sidney made femininity look effortless. That was his way, but for me it was still

SANDY THOMAS ADV. -59

decisions, machinations and insecurities. Before I could put one high-heeled foot out the door, I had to feel right. That took time.

Once we were at the mall, a whole unexplored world opened itself to me. There were dresses to be scrutinized for their entrance-making capabilities and feminizing potential plus colors to be compared to our manicures and makeup and hairstyles.

Sidney had taught me about picking out a dress. "If you think you look and feel sexy in a dress, the world will too!" It was such fun shopping with Sidney. At one of our many breaks he crossed his long legs sexily as we sipped designer coffee. He looked so comfortable in his sheer floral skirt and green lace tank top. He sported light makeup and had pulled tendrils of his curly brown hair back with plastic clips. Even in non-Glam mode, it was impossible to see any boy on his sweet-as-apple-pie face and figure most girls would kill for.

We talked of dresses. "I can't decide! I wish I could have them ALL!" I admitted.

Sidney laughed and took a sip of coffee. "Choice is what being a girl is all about. You can't wear two dresses at the same time, so you pick the one that makes you feel the most like a young lady."

"Ah, therein lies the problem," I said. "How not to tick off my mother while satisfying my new found sensuality?" "Forget what everyone else thinks. I focus on what I like. I'm a boy who looks nice in these incredible clothes, so I enjoy them without any guilt."

We went to a department store where we tried on several dresses, one of which Sidney HAD to have. It was a sexy, slim evening dress of black lace, slit high on one side in the front. It had a separate beaded jacket worn over the low-cut bodice. Before we left, he had paired it with black panties and a special bra, some serious jewelry, snakeskin pumps, and a big smile.

I tried on a dress that had a huge skirt and beautiful straps. I looked like a cross between a bad Southern belle and a Spanish flamenco wannabe. The dress was phenomenal on the hanger, but Sidney agreed that it did not work on me.

It was funny what I was learning about the other side